Thanks for the replies everyone!

Oh I mentioned age and education to clarify that we are not teenagers. Usually one hears stories like this from teenagers, not from someone who will soon be 29 and is financially independent.

I am just venting because it is one thing not to be able to go against parents' wishes, but it is completely different to break up for that reason, come back after 4 years...make so many promises and keep doing it (and I allowed her to do it to me...)

We are both south asians (indian and pakistani)...but both of us have grown up here. she came at age 12 and i came at age 15. I know the culture and I accepted it back in 2006 when she broke up. But what she did over the last 2.5 years...I have not been able to get over it...and the way she has put the entire blame on me for us not being together (oh, the blames vary every single time...she can't stick to one blame because she knows none of them are true).

I do feel sorry for her too. Not only is she dealing with borderline personality disorder, she also has to deal with such an abusive family.

I have to keep telling myself that she is not my responsibility. I gave my absolute best over the years. I proposed to her. I was available by her side day and night. I gave her information to get treatment. I did all I could. Just have to keep repeating to myself, even if she is mentally ill...she has the responsibility to go get help. And she knows she does...just too stubborn to go get help.

Thanks for the replies all of you!