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Originally Posted by precious things
Is this intentional? Do you cry when you are alone? My T and I were talking about something last week and I said I couldn't let myself emotionally go there and he asked if it was because I was afraid of crying in front of him.....I have a very hard time experiencing emotions in the moment of therapy ( I can intellectualize things, but the walls go up).....just wondering why it is you haven't cried in 5 years worth of therapy?
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Thanks for asking! I don't know if I would say it's intentional. It's more automatic I think. In T or with other people I tend to put walls up and disconnect emotionally pretty quickly. There's some sort of disconnection that exists. I can't seem to bridge the gap between the words I'm saying to the emotions I'm talking about or should be feeling I guess.
I have cried alone, but usually stop myself bc it starts to scare me or I can hear myself saying "shut up stop crying"--so I will stop on a dime.
Im not sure if this makes sense. I don't really know how to explain it.