Hi Bub.

Between everything you've received here, there's not a lot left for me to add. You've received some great advice.

I did want to offer...you mentioned he demanded a second chance, and wanted to avail himself to your services? I have to ask, who on earth is he to demand anything from you? He's your husband, not your commanding officer! You deserve much, much more respect than what he has shown you...now, and in the past. He should never have coerced you into sexual acts you were not comfortable with. That is so, so wrong of him, and I'm sorry you were ever put in that situation.

You mention fear of your vows...that's a very noble concern to have, I think, but your friends and T are absolutely right. I'm not married, and I've been to precious few weddings, but typically, the vows read something like this (copied and pasted from google):

"Will you love him/her, honor him/her, comfort him/her, and keep him/her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to him/her as long as you both shall live?"

After one says "I do" or "I will" to that caveat, the other says the same, correct? My point in bringing this up is that he has NOT been doing any of that. He has not honored you by not respecting your wishes, and he has certainly not forsaken all others. Even the way he asked you to "help" him with his porn addiction...pardon my frankness, but the way he addressed you, his wife, sounds like he was addressing a sex worker . That shows a HUGE lack of those things listed in that vow, as I see it. The way I see it, myself being legal minded, that's a fundamental breach of contract on his part, thus dissolving the contract. You're not dishonoring anything or anyone by getting out of this, if you so choose.

I do hope I was of some help, and I do hope I wasn't too blunt...it simply bothers me for him to treat you this way. If I can do anything for you, please don't hesitate to PM me, and know that you are in my prayers and I wish you all of the best.

Hugs,
Harley