My SO and I are from America. In the beginning he gave me orgasms like I never knew existed. But now, 20 years later, I don't want him to and he takes Viagra.
I don't want to measure my relationship anymore how many orgasms he gives me ... Sex is not love.

While fighting through my own problems, I think I lost orgasmic ability because I felt our relationship lost respect. Although I can stimulate myself to orgasm (with difficulty), I do not want my SO to do it ... It is a vulnerability I cannot offer to him, and probably myself.