that is how long I have self-harmed for... 10 whole years...

you name it I've tryed it, I have very litle unmarked skin left, it really is just stupid. It's past wanting to stop now... into full blown NEEDING to do so...

I started when I was about 11. my father believed that due to original sin children are born evil, and that this evil needed to be cleansed from them. This cleansing basically meant beeting, setting on fire, pouring boiling water over, strangling, throwing against things, hitting with objects... ect.. ect... He totally convinced me that I truely was evil and these "punishments" were required... and so eventually I took it upon myself to joiin in the punishments and turned to self-harm.

that was 10 years ago now... I haven't even seen him for about 9months, and yet at times I still feel as if I'm to blame for many things that have happened and that maybe all he wsaid about my being evil, pathetic, useless and worthless was true...

anyway, I really do need to stop... I have tryed so many times, but 3 months is the longest I have ever gone without breaking down completely and doign something even worse.

anyone know of any methods to help give up at all? I have tryed the elastic band and ice ones as well as several others, I really need help...
gone 4 days withough cutting and just over a month without ODing or burning... but it's getting so difficult... Any suggestions, anything at all would be very much apretiated