Quote:
Originally Posted by H3rmit
> I have virtually no self confidence and esteem even about things I know well and am passionate about. I can have a hundred people say positive things and one person can come along and put me down and he will be the one I dwell on and believe. I wrote this and some other things lately that I knew I'd hear about but my passion about it insisted I write it. I just have a hard time dealing with the negative.
I saw those two comments as being more reactive than on point, more about their own experience in a different direction than so much a comment on you. They didn't quite get that you don't meet the employer, it seemed. It was really about them, not about you. Sometimes it feels really good to be able to draw that line and not take things personally. (Not saying it's always easy or I always do it right.) So, just another way to look at it that can be self-protective.
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My head and my emotions often do not work together and my first reaction to most situations is to get defensive and to take things badly. I do realize, when looking at things in hindsight, that I overreacted and that people may not have been against me at all. At least I realize this; at one time I don't believe I got it, but I still have a lot of work to do to not react badly in such situations. I am a teacher by nature and will often step out of my comfort zone for this benefit of others. That original comment was also written when I had just stood up for my beliefs on several other points and was cut down including someone breaking their friendship with me because I couldn't possibly believe what I did and still support them. I am trying to learn from this and not let it get me down. I do not begrudge other people's opinions just because they are against mine. My initial reactions, however, are often extreme and impulsive...part of being BPD and something I'm trying to learn from.
I hope some people have been helped and have gotten inspiration to find at-home work from this thread. If you have, I'd love to hear from you, and I will post some additional sites to search for at home jobs soon.