It seems like a straightforward question but with BPD symptoms, it's more complicated than it would be if I just had depression. Hence why I'm posting it here.

I've been having thoughts and urges that are a little dangerous. Almost every day, usually when I slip into a numb/empty/almost dissociative state in which nothing makes sense and I can hardly think. I'm not suicidal and I do not want to die, but I'm concerned that I might act on those urges and hurt myself worse than usual. I don't want to get into specifics because my particular thoughts are graphic and triggering, but the urges involve cutting very badly.

I'd usually never consider myself a legitimate danger to myself for wanting to self harm, and I'd DEFINITELY consider myself a legitimate danger if I were feeling truly suicidal, but this is neither. These thoughts are irrational and they don't make sense. It's almost psychotic, for lack of a better word. I just get overwhelmed with this urge to hurt myself really really badly for no logical reason. If you were to confront me in that state of mind and ask me why, the answer would be "I DON'T ****ING KNOW I JUST WANT TO."

HOWEVER, seeing as how I don't want to kill myself and it's not entirely life threatening (it could be, but probably wouldn't be), would that still be considered being a danger to myself?

My therapist said I could call her before my appointment (April 1st) and see her if I'm in "CRISIS" but I don't know if these things constitute a crisis and I don't want to waste her time, especially if there's nothing she can do except threaten to hospitalize me, which is too extreme in my opinion. I mean, I'm fine most of the time. It's just certain times that these urges happen.

Sorry if this is confusing. I'm tired. And confused. I just wanted to ask somebody about this in a place where people understand what it's like to be totally fine one day and a total mess the next.