Welcome Orion. I'm sorry for the terrible way your parents treated you. It's great that you are in therapy and posting here. I look forward to reading more. I have terrible trouble opening up myself....

"to be fair my parents don't understand the true meaning of much"

I relate. I was fed many lies and distortions while growing up, as well as being abused. Confusion, confusion, anger, hurt, rage, pain, aching heart, fear fear fear, overwhelming sadness..... just a few of the effects. I'm sure you relate to these and more.

Take good care,
Fuzzy