I have been in intense therapy for 5 years for PTSD from childhood ritual and sexual abuse. I am actually experiencing light at the end of the tunnel...even though I know the tunnel will never truly end. No more trying to self destruct, at least for now, depression is being managed well with meds, sleeping with meds, but altogether functioning better than I have in years.
I have always been the "problem" in our marriage, but after doing all of the hard work I am have now discovered my husband has Schizoid Personality Disorder.
Our conversations have been triggering me something fierce. It is the feeling of abandonment, rejection, and when he completely closes down the fear starts rising up again.
I had dissociated for several years and everything had integrated, and now I am experiencing levels of regressing into "little girl" and "teenage girl".
I have fought long and hard to get here, and I am determined not to go backwards...
He has never been willing to go to counseling with me for anything, but is actually going this Friday with me. I don't know what good it will do, but I am praying that something will motivate him to continue and see the value for himself.
Thanks for letting me join in the group and vent. Feedback is definitely welcome.