James, I am in same position. It seems designgned this way, it is the " empty phaze" where we lose more than we gain. Many friends and coworker die ... we live on, left to do for our selves. Those who find a reason and a way persevere ...
... and care for ourselves and others and develope philosophies (no religions)

That's--in part--my belief. I imagine some belief keeps your getting a leg out out of bed in the morning. Take very best care of you and stay in touch with PC. Some fine, generous folks here.
roadie