I don't think you are messed up just pretty overwhelmed right now. You sound pretty smart to me. "Something worth having is something worth waiting for" so don't sell yourself cheap just because everyone else does. I found when I concentrated on the things I loved I found like minded people who had things in common with me where I met friends first. Then instead of trying to get them to like me I could see them in all kinds of different places and situations and decide if I wanted to have that kind of person in my life. After you learn to separate the dishonest, the fakirs, the ones with no goals, no hobbies, the users, you will find the gold those who are loving and respectful and respectable and those are the "keepers". Simon being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed about. Be proud. When it happens it will be something Special and special is hard to find. O.K. Grandma will get off the soap box now.