It sounds like you could be having some chemical-type problems going on. Have you been evaluated for bipolar disorder?

Self-medicating with alcohol while on antidepressants really makes for a terrible mess. I know this from experience. It totally fouls up your brain. So right now you could be in a place where you will get some obnoxious rebound symptoms from your medication of choice. It would be a good idea to talk to your doc/s as soon as possible so that you don't find yourself so desperate to alleviate your ever-worsening symptoms that you pickle yourself with booze or, worse, other non-prescribed substances.