Oh, I can feel your pain coming right through my screen. I, too, am estranged from my family (except for my mom - we are working on it) and have waves of triggers whenever I am around a happy family, people talking about happy childhood memories, etc.

I have desperately tried to come to terms with my past and for the most part, have succeeded. Yet the pain doesn't seem to subside when I am triggered over familial memories. (I don't have any memories of good times - only bad times).

I often wonder why the pain doesn't lessen, then I remember, it is because of my illness! I will always have to remind myself of that. I can't control the triggers, but I can control how much it will affect me and for how long(sometimes; not all the time, but most times). Of course, I've had to practice and practice and practice and...

AS