|
Mar 11, 2013, 12:49 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
I think people who are struggling with any difficulty whatsoever need sympathy, and empathy from others, if not outright understanding. That is part of what helps someone heal. Sympathy can be difficult to give sometimes though, because it is often very obvious to the person standing outside and looking at the struggling person who has "emotional problems", that this emotionally troubled person is creating their own issues.
People become very upset when they hear advice like:
"Buck up"
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
"Grow a thicker skin"
"Think positive"
What emotionally troubled people sometimes don't realize, though, is that this kind of advice comes from an honest place. It's what others have done to overcome their own emotional difficulties. If you're stuck in a cycle of negative thinking, the solution is quite literally to "think positive".
The broken brain theory absolves people of the responsibility for resolving their own problems, which makes it appealing to some and unappealing to others. Personally, I think that there are some mental health problems that people can solve on their own, and others than cannot be resolved independently. One person may be able to grow a thick skin, and another may need therapy. One person may be able to learn to think positive, while another is helped with medication.
I think that there are many paths to wellness and that one should take which ever path leads them to the best possible quality of life.
|
LovelaceF,
I do understand your thinking here. And I am always trying to present some "positives" for others to consider and try. I always talk about the significance of "learning" and how by being open to "learning" we can often gain more "personal strength". I am also a strong believer in the plasticity of the brain and how individuals can create new pathways to help them get around things they cannot seem to do.
Saying that the "broken brain theory" absolves people from the responsibility of resolving their own problems? Well, that is not really considering the individuals who definitely have a pathology that inspite their strong efforts, still present very "real" challenges. You have to be "careful" when you make a statement like that because for someone who is genuinely "trying" and not making headway, which is due to "real pathology", you can add to their despair and sense of personal failure, which they really don't deserve to battle. Infact I know how badly that can affect someone first hand, I personally got so I felt so bad that I could not seem to "just" that I came dangerously close to taking my own life. At the time I truely did not understand "why" I was struggling so much either. There was absolutely no desire whatsoever to "avoid being responsible for the challenge I was experiencing".
Honestly, if I didn't experience this challenge I am dealing with first hand, I would probably have also made suggestions that would not have been "helpful" to someone struggling like I do now. AND, even though I "do" have a better understanding of what I have, and I have been working very hard at finding ways to overcome it, I can "still" trigger someone else who is struggling with CPTSD with my "positive" suggestions and how "I" am gaining. And the truth is, someone could have even more damage than I do, and their efforts have not helped their condition. And I "have" experienced that challenge.
So, the bottom line is that just because "I" have been able to make some gains, it doesn't mean someone else is at a point where they will be able to do the same. Then I have to remember that at times I was not in any condition to consider trying something new. As a matter of fact, when I was in the beginning stages of PTSD, I had no idea that I was actually going to get even "worse". I had no idea that my flashbacks were going to get a lot worse and even more crippling then I ever imagined. Each person is different depending on what kind of tramas they experienced.
Even depression, one person can have "mild depression" and find some "positive' things to think about and try and make some real gains, while another person can experience more crippling depression where they can bearly even function. It would not be fair to them to consider they are "just being irresponsible" if they can't seem to even function.
|