Hi PJ... I had to comment because you are talking about feelings I always had when I was your age. Only I wasn't in touch with my feelings. I ignored them and went about my life pretending to be something I wasn't.Trying always to be everything to everyone.. to please them all.

I always felt different and I never felt like anyone truly cared about me or what was going on inside of my heart and head.I was lonely. I did have friends and boyfriends but it was phony and I wasn't never truly happy inside.I couldn't be real.

I think it is good that you are trying to honor your feelings even if they aren't happy ones right now.Thats one thing I never learned to do.. acknowledge negative feelings.

The thing is that you are who you are and until you can allow yourself to be the authentic you.... you may never find the peace of mind and happiness you deserve.

People in your life will either like you and love you for who you truly are or they won't... but as long as you have to try and be what others expect you to be, nobody will ever have the chance to know the real you.

There is nothing wrong with not liking the culture of your roots.. thats how you feel.. thats who you are. Maybe one day that will change. .but you can't force it.

Be true to yourself.. take one thing at a time.. you will work this out. And be proud of the fact that you are at least listening to your inner feelings.. thats one thing I wish I could have done when I was your age.

What do you think is going to happen if you let someone get close enough to show them your heart?

Peace,Faith