yes i go through that often. i dissociate when i si. i dont remember cuting or i dont remember cutin as much as i did. My therapsit dx me with DID though - mulitple personality disorders. alot of people dissociate when the si. have you told your therapist that you dissociate when you si and how it actually happens? it is important that you do. Do you remember picking up the blade to cut? I hope this helps.
try and stay safe