You have to be "selfish" since it's your life and only you can live it and be you.

Relationships don't have to be exclusive so you only spend time with the other. If you trust yourself and the other person, it's wonderful to have other friends to go do other things with -- kind of like going to school AND working. You don't expect your friends from school to also be your friends on the job or to not have any other friends from school or the job because you have a steady boy/girlfriend! My husband and I entertain people from his work, my work and both, along with friends and family all at the same party!

But bottom line is you can't live someone else's life for them or even "help" them much with it. Everybody's got to stand on their own two feet (except little girls who dance standing on their father's feet :-) You're always doom to fail trying to make someone else happy as they hold all the power there and doomed to not get one's needs met if one expects another to make them happy. That's an individual's job and they're the only ones who can either make it happen and who is responsible for doing so.