I was about your age when I began questioning with any seriousness. It was really hard for me. I cried a lot. I decided back in the eighites after some very brief exploring that I was maybe bi or something. I was so confused. I got married and divorced, had some other relationships with men , relationships that failed. I cried to God to help me, I was hurting. I prayed about it.

It was thirteen years later, when I was thirty-one, that I fell in love with my best friend and came out as gay. I did lose some of my so-called friends, and some of my family. But I feel better about myself, I don't have to pretend to be a certain way anymore. I have friends and family of choice who love me just the way I am, and a spiritual community I am checking into.

I think it's great that you feel you can talk about it on here. I was so stifled where I grew up, all GLBTQ were evil. There was NO ONE you could ask anything to. It was awful.

I have been with my partner now for six years. It hasn't been easy, but no long-term relationshp is, I don't think. We get harassed sometimes, usually in subtle ways, like leaflets on our truck, or jobs won't hire her once they see the flattop haircut, regardless of her qualifications. I have demonstrated for GLBTQ civil rights, and I write letters, make phone calls.

But I finally have peace in my heart. I wish you the same.

RainbowFaerie