ah mm, you hit the nail on the head re my response tho i was over the top perhaps. i care for you a lot. it pains me to see your struggle. as you know from my drinking career i went down fighting. how dare they say i must give up my 'best friend'! i was in a vicious cycle of self destruction. i loathed myself. i saw others 'get it' and i thought i couldn't get it. that only added to my low self image.
i got a 'little' intense in my original response. sorry. been stressed out over a health diagnosis. but no excuse. bad 'hair day'. thank you for understanding with your recent remarks. you're right i am sad you feel you are a failure. (i used to define myself as a worm). consider this-you have a (perhaps for any of us) a fatal disease. that doesn't make you a failure or a degenerate. it's a product of our perception having this active disease. but as you know only each of us can make the decision to prescribe the medicine to get well. i am very glad you're here. i am very glad you are so honest with us. that is the mainstay of this forum, imho. keep posting my friend. we're here for you.