Hey there dg-
Hmmmmm...this is exactly what I went through at age 19.
Had a very good looking bf, loved him loads, we got engaged, he disappeared to South America, came back changed, I changed, broke up..two years later, fell in love with a woman, in the midst of this, got into a relationship with another guy with an even worse character than my ex fiancé, went thru a whole heap of crap winding up 7 years later attracted to a completely different people..what I'm saying is, take your time, because no point dragging another human being into a lifelong commitment when your not sure that your sure..othrwise you have a one way ticket to disaster...be honest with yourself