Anyone experienced this? I've just spent most of my session talking about it, and thought it was interesting, apologies if it's not!

My T often yawns in therapy. Not because he's bored (he has told me he's not, though he says I need to allow him to be someone who can be bored). I have hypersomnia, which may have developed due to PTSD, and am on medication for it now. But I'm talking about times when I didn't have medication and felt very sleepy, or escaped by going to sleep. And I feel wide awake, but my T often yawns.

And the really weird thing is: I never catch it. Normally, if someone yawns, or I see a picture of yawning, or I think about yawning, I'll yawn. I just yawned while typing this sentence. But when my T yawns, I don't.

I found something online about how yawning and sleepiness are common forms of somatic countertransference. It's not necessarily a sign that they're bored or don't care.

Something else that's weird: my T said that, when I cry, he sometimes feels like I'm repelling him. Sometimes he feels like he wants to give me a hug, but sometimes he feels repelled, ie pushed away. (He's got me to a place where I can say: "How odd, why do you think that is?" rather than "Oh my goodness, you hate me.") He said you'd think he'd have the urge to hug me every time.

I'm now wondering if it's because I feel repulsive when I cry, to the extent that I'm giving out unconscious signals that repel him. And I thought about what he said, about how you'd think he would always want to hug me, because the thing is: I wouldn't think that, at all. I'd expect him to be repelled. I don't always feel like I want to hug people when they cry.

What makes me not want to hug them? When they remind me of me. Or qualities in myself that I've tried to eliminate, such as being excessively needy or self-rejecting. That's how much I'm repelled by the idea of myself crying.

I guess I'm just amazed at the strength of the unconscious signals I'm apparently giving out.