A few thoughts.

A jaded thought - her willingness to work this out might be stemming from her realization that she won't be able to support herself. If the alternative is, as you pointed out, somebody playing games all day long, and, she cannot support herself on her own, then her outlook without you is bleak.

120 extra lbs is a lot. It is not zaftig anymore, but obese. And, hard to shed even with motivation.

Vanity is not a bad thing. While it can be taken to an extreme by women who. Need to spend two hours in the morning on the pursuit of vanity before they leave house, iit is overall a good thing. I am not endowed with much vanity, but when I lose even the little bit that I have and do not feel worthy of applying sunscreen, that is a bad sign. Psychiatrists routinely note appearance in the chart, for a reason. I had a wonderful woman p~doc when I had my last (hopefully, LAST forever) suicidal depression. She was seeing me weekly in an effort to help me stay outpatient. When things got a little better, she was glad to notice that I came to the appointment looking ok and not completely disheveled. So vanity is a positive thing overall and you need not want not to be vain.