Thanks folks. It does feel like a tricky situation. My gut tells me to stay away from him. I don't want to give him false hope, or test myself further, though I feel like I've already been tested and passed. And I feel good about that. We had weekly appointments (sorry can't be more specific) which I have cancelled. But if I see him around town, and I hope to, for sure I'll be friendly and chat.

My fear does seem to be connected to my view of myself, what my true nature is, and hubby's belief in me to do the right thing really helps. I feel so lucky to have that love and support, and I feel sorrow for this man who doesn't have that. But of course, I can't give it to him.

I have also been in a relationship in the past that was smothering, when I was single, and I was trying to help someone in hard times, with drugs involved. I ended up having to get out completely and stop moving in those circles. This one doesn't feel like that. It just feels risky. He seems to know he shouldn't see me.

I do have one small thing I thought I could do, to share humanity's joys and sorrows and make him feel less alone. A small gift I could give him, like I have shared with online friends. It would seem backward to withhold that just because he lives right here, and not elsewhere in the world. A gift of the written word.