This is a really interesting idea and a really interesting post.

My version of this is that sometimes my neck will suddenly start aching or seize up in a spasm. I sometimes grab it and I know that my T notices. Once, he asked me if it had been hurting me during the session and he said that he had felt it too, in his own neck, and described the spot and the nature of the pain exactly. He said it was a kind of a gift to be able to experience that with someone, and he also literally let it go to show me that he could do that too.

But I think that the idea that we give off nonverbal communication that we are largely unaware of is very interesting. I am sometimes dumbfounded by how unclear other people can find me even when I think I am being crystal clear. This has happened in T, too, and it has reminded me how much responsibility there is in ensuring that I communicate and clarify whenever there is a need too. It is odd to be caught off guard, as in, "whatever made you think I wanted x, y, or z?", but when I think back on it, it makes sense how ambiguous I actually was.

Thanks for raising this issue.