Glad others have found it interesting. I've been thinking about it some more and realised that my cat avoids me when I feel repulsive. Whereas, when I feel like I can seek comfort, e.g. when I've phoned the Samaritans (crisis helpline) which I sometimes do, he always comes and curls up with me.

My T has told me I'm insecurely attached to my parents. I believe this starts in infancy and is something to do with how your parents respond to you, e.g. if you cry.

I've emailed my T asking if he felt repelled when I briefly cried today, as I know how my cat behaved when I got home, and he doesn't, so it would be interesting to compare. I told him I think I'm having emotional flashbacks, experiencing echoes of old feelings or finding myself sitting in places where I used to feel safe (against doors, on the bathroom floor) staring into space.

I used to think I was worthless and that nobody cared about me. I don't think that now, most of the time. So, if he feels repelled, I think it might tell him something important about how I am - or rather when I am.