I went for my intake yesterday afternoon , to be admitted for an outpatient day program. After going back and forth with the intake person, I decided to do it.

It is only a 10 day program, or two weeks. Going over why I wanted to do it was extremely draining and upsetting. To top it off my husband had to stay late at the hospital for an emergency case. I went to bed at 7:00 pm.

This morning I had every intention to go for my first day, start time 9:30 am.
The problem is ever since Jason died I have a very hard time in the morning with flashbacks of when we found him almost dead and then dead and leaving in a body bag.

They only way I have been able to deal is to take enough seroquel and Ativan to knock me out and I sleep for two hours.

I tried to take less meds so I could go but it didn't work. I had to take the full dose, therefore unable to go.

I don't think this group program could give me enough attention to help with these flashbacks anyway, and then there is the agoraphobia.

I called and quit this afternoon.

I just don't know where to go from here ?