I am sick of being a loser and sick of my dead end job. I do not have anything to show for my life yet and seeing people I know get married and have kids makes me feel like a loser.

This is no way to live so I push woman away that I like .

I am giving up dating , friends , family , tv, Xbox ,drinking, partying, sports, working out , meeting new people, sleep , sex, going out , and everything I once enjoyed to get to my goals.

to be fair i real to not have too many close friends.

Seeing that I only get 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night I know it is not good but I do not care . The adderall helps but I had to cut back it stop working lol. I found a new drug that helps you stay awake but do not know if i should try it but i might.

Right now it is time to stop feeling sorry for myself and go from loser to winner at all cost.

The desire to feel like i am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps.

I am driven to make it and so i can get a girlfriend. It is all or nothing this year. If I do it this year I never do it.

I am very hard on myself more then I need to be and I need to stop beating myself up. I am sure it does not help that I obsess on things I've done wrong. Even worse than mistakes I have made.

I am driven to make it and so i can get a girlfriend. It is all or nothing this year . If I do do it this year I never do it.

Anyway I decided to go back to college a 2nd time .My job is OK but it a dead end job and it is nothing I am passion at about doing forever. Retail sucks and I do not like it at all so it was time to do something new. Working night crew for the rest of my life is no fun and there no wear to go in retail.My job just does not pay well like $18.65 an hour will not feed a family even working full time.

I am taking two class now on top of it all.

People have pointed out i need to relax more and balance my life more and have some fun and there are right . So next quarter I am still going to take 2 classes but going to go the the gym and work out and play basketball or some thing.

homework before fun though got to get good grades or i never be anything.

Ok i can not recall the last time i was happy or felt full of life . I am lacking energy and motivation some times.

as of late i feel like crying at times during the day or when i go to sleep.

also feel this need all the time to punish my self when i fail to reach a goal like i do not deserve this and that if i do not do a good job.

I am 29 and feel like if i still working retail at 35 i might just give up on life.

I bought my self a can of dog food and have on my desk with a note how would you like this for dinner every night and then cry your self a sleep at night ? Get work done or you never be loved .

How do I start loving myself so a girl can love me back?

I want a wife and family and kids but if i do try my best to break my family trend of retail workers and welfare I do not deserve a to be happy.

I think i need to be therapy and got a number for one but to scared to call . I just need to man up and call so i can love my self. In turn have a gf/wife someday and kids.

How does one start loving them self?