i think the key to a real love is to love yourself first, which is fiendishly difficult. i have found personally that when i started bellydancing, i was able to embrace myself as a woman, in a safe, all women environment. a good teacher will allow you to create a good relationship with yourself and self esteem.

it seems like you need to learn that you are worth the effort, but not so that other people can enjoy yourself, but so that you can. i suggested the dancing as a possible, because it allows you to focus on yourself, it makes you give yourself the time to do something that makes you feel attractive, teaches a skill you can be proud of, and allows you to socialise in a comfortable environment.