Posting an update since it's been a few days! The email I sent to my mother has started some conversations, and the reaction was positive. My job has been quite awful, though. Waking up at night to go to work is really depressing. So is throwing 100 pound boxes of meat onto pallets in 20 degree weather for the whole day. I will probably see about quitting later this week.

Currently, I am really sad. Mostly because I miss my ex and want to talk to her, but I know it isn't the right thing to do. I'm sure sometime soon I will break down and reach out to her. I feel pretty incredible loneliness right now and really miss conversation. I don't think I've smiled for about 20 days. So today, another bad day.