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Originally Posted by hankster
I think a problem with boundaries is figuring out who the reasons belong to. Really this sounds like my mother - does it sound like yours? Trying to keep you helpless? Your t may have different motivations. but it you tell her how it FEELS, you can figure out the transference. I see my t acting like my mother all the time, but I'm wrong. Hope this helps.
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Yes, thats it exactly- transference. I don't see my t as my mother, maybe the mother I always wanted but she does not resemble any part of my mother. My mother does not want me helpless but rather her slave. She wants me to rally around her 24/7 and be at her beck and call. Maybe it is because my mother is so needy and maybe I detect a hint of that from t lately. Thanks Hankster, you have been most helpful
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
I think it's a large price to pay, to not feel okay about being honest with your T about how something she is doing is making you feel. I'm not sure how therapeutic it is to feel as if you have to be silent. I mean, that pings all my old stuff-- not saying it's your stuff.
Personally, and of course I could be wrong, I think she would applaud if you were honest about how you feel.
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This is more about me though and not t. I have a huge problem with showing my true feelings. I have learned to hide them over the years and telling t this will be near impossible. She would applaud me and just last week she said someone told her she talks too much and it was on the tip of my tongue to say something but the words wouldn't come out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAYNE1
Given that it is a training experience, but you are also supposed to be getting helped, I agree that it would be appropriate for you to thank her for what she has done for you. That said, then maybe add, "I believe I am now to the point where I need to be more independent with my life. I appreciate your being helpful by offering your guidance on (whatever), but....." Or something like that. I can't imagine she would terminate anybody for now being able to be more independent!
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Termination is a sore subject for me, purely because the last time I told t1 how I really felt- I fell in love with her, she terminated next session after promising me she would never go anywhere....maybe this is why I always hide my feelings