I find myself in a place where I wish I could grasp the circumstances in my life and remedy them. I wish I had that "whatever it is" that some people possess that allows them to continually rise above whatever life throws at them. I have had enough already and I want to get back up again...but I am so damn tired of getting knocked down only to get back up and get knocked down again.
I dont want to whine or be ungrateful because so many people in life have much worse issues and problems than I.
I am not homeless, out of work, hungry, thirsty, or unloved (I am single again after 23 years but my daughter loves me!). I b!^@h and moan about such petty things and yet they seem like mountains to me. I know we all have our own crosses to bear and sometimes I feel like such a fool for even complaining.
I don't hear voices (but I do hear a lot of "life" in my head, if that makes any sense) and I am not paranoid. I am a bit socially phobic, but that usually passes quickly as long as I can find someone to talk to.
I have a rather nice apartment, clothes, shoes, food (baking a tropical fruit cobbler as I type) and drink. My SUV is 12 years old but it runs good and looks good too.
So then why do I feel so out of sorts? Like I don't belong? Like I am waiting for something or someone...does anyone else out there feel like this?
Sorry to ramble on. Just planting my thougts.
I do hope you who read this have a great day...kind of like Truman...good morning, good afternoon, and good evening!