Thanks for asking Granite! I had such a bad night last night that I just went to bed early. I don't know what's going on. No matter how hard I try it seems to be like this, and she thinks it's my perception, my unconscious anger at her, my past, stuff like that.

I asked her to write a letter, but I totally forgot until a bit late in the session (10 minutes to go). My memory is so awful, but it's really important. I need it before I start getting any income. I'd asked last week and she'd said she would do it this week. So that took until the very end of the session (a few minutes over actually as she took a few minutes to find anything with her letterhead on it). When she photocopied the form I told her (kindly) that I had to send in the original. She said quite coldly that the photocopy was for her records. I thought that was just my perception. I said yes, as soon as I'd commented I realised that's what she was probably doing, but she didn't say anything further.

Then she looked at her diary and said she couldn't see me on my usual day. She offered a later day in the week and I told her honestly that would be hard for me while I'm struggling so much. She looked back at my usual day and said actually she could fit me in at 1:30pm. So I said okay. Then I said "are you sure that suits you?" She said somewhat bluntly again, "no actually it doesn't". Then she gave me a time. I was trying to find the date in my diary to write it down (and being a bit flustered myself I was looking at the wrong month, though I was only taking a matter of seconds). So I asked her to confirm the date as she was walking out the door and she said "the 18th! See you next week" then left. I'm sure she was rushing for something, another client or somewhere to be. I actually thought I'd better quickly put my diary away without writing the day and time down, so I hope I heard the time correctly as she didn't confirm that again for me. I just quickly put the cheque on her table and walked out. She had disappeared into the kitchen area of her workplace by then.

I sent a text yesterday to say sorry for making her work with me so difficult. I asked if she was rushing or was she fed up with me. She often hasn't received my texts in the past. So today I optimistically asked if she'd received the text and asked if she'd keep working me with if I kept trying to move forwards. Still nothing.

Sorry that was so long.