I haven't carved any words into my body since I was nineteen so it's been four years of struggling to not hurt myself. For the most part I can fight it but my skin gets itchy and the only way to make it stop is to use a sanitary sharp object to carve a new word some place no one will notice. The past year the itch has been getting worse and I resorted to using the inside my closet door but I have run out of room and after shearing my hair off I am becoming more agitated. I really don't want to go back down that road of having to hide the scars and lie to people or cause them worry. I'm scared of myself but I will continue to fight this need.