Okay so I'm having an extremely difficult time right now-depression is horrible and it's to the point I'm considering hospitalization. Earlier today I became obsessed with emailing T...so I emailed him a few times and didn't hear anything. I texted him and said I was worse and didn't know what to do-because I don't have $ and I'm not sure it helps. T wrote back "it's ok to go Delicate, if you feel worse its best, Im praying for you".
So around 1:15 I tried calling him 3 times because I just needed someone I knew that cares about me to talk to me and maybe help me get to safety.
T did not answer or call me back. Later I wrote an email saying I tried calling 3 times and was upset and that I wouldn't be returning to therapy.
I get an email back that says "Hi Delicate my mother in law died today at 1 and I was thankfully there while she passed peacefully. I hope you can understand that I do care about you but need to be dedicated to my family for awhile. I'm sorry you are struggling right now but I'm limited in what I can do to help right now. I will be praying for you as I hope you are able to pray for (T's wife) and my family. I will talk to you soon"

I feel absolutely horrible...I wrote him back saying I was sorry for their loss and that I'm ashamed at how selfish I came
across and that I'm too embarassed to see him anytime soon. That I would be thinking of them and I'm glad he can be there for them. My heart hurts...I feel bad. I'm embarrassed. I was calling him in crisis just minutes after she passed and I'm sure he was annoyed and frustrated in how needy I am. I've never felt so bad and like I can't go back : (