Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightlight
That's why I tried so hard to think that maybe it was her stuff. Maybe she was in a huge rush to get somewhere in particular. I'm sure it's partly me, being sensitive, but I wish she'd just be patient and gentle with me after all these huge ruptures we've had.
It can't be all my perception. She really did say things in the past like "oh so you try everywhere else but not here! You expect me to do all the work"! That was after I tried to tell her that I put on a brave face all week and sometimes needed to be honest with her about how bad things were for me. When there are so many things like that now all jumbled together, it seems like such a mess. It seems so unfair that she has now removed herself and is saying that it's about my past. I do think my inability to cope with it is about the past...but some things are about being hurt by her.
I've tried to sort out the financial situation today and was told that it will take more than a week after they get more forms that I have to send in. I'm waiting for the forms to be signed by a university staff member. I couldn't even get that that stage before having a letter from T. In the mean time there is nowhere that I can get a single cent from. Everything is so hard right now. I just wish T would be really really gentle until I'm a bit more okay.
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((((Nightlight))))))
I am with Bluey in that reading your posts are heartbreaking. I know I couldn't leave my xT, but God, I needed to do so. I stayed with him because I was so attached to him, and he had no idea who I was or that I was suffering. He was unprofessional in the way he treated me at times. He let his stuff get in the way. I don't like how your T is treating you, I think that you deserve so much more. I never believed that there was something better out there, but I know for a fact now there is. I now have a therapist who respects me, who listens to me, who understands me, and who is really and truly helping me. I used to think that the only way to get better was to come around to my xT's way of thinking. That didn't happen. So, I found someone who is a better fit, and who treats me like I am a human being. I wonder if you could consider interviewing another therapist, you don't have to change, but maybe just see what else is out there, it won't hurt. I know you are in pain and I know how much it hurts. I wish I could make this better for you, you deserve so much better. ((((((((Nightlight))))))))))