Hi Rainbow and everyone,
I second what Rainbow just wrote! I think that emptyspace, all of what you posted says more about you, your own feelings about the t relationship, your own regrets and trigers than anything else. And yes, I too hope that you do explore this int if it's something that you feel you should do, as I think it could be helpful, as it's helpful for everyone to explore what trigers them as hard as that is at times!