Why does this happen. T has been away on break and I managed to cope really well. The last couple of sessions before the break were good and I felt at peace which I managed to keep with me whilst she was away. Yesterday she was back and I desperately wanted to renew the connection and get some relief for the feelings that were bubbling up under the surface. Instead I got very frustrated. I even tried to talk to her about it and she was great but I got more and more mad at myself. By the end of the session I told her I hate myself. Now I feel awful and really anxious and am about to get up and go to work and pretend everything is ok.
Unfortunately I had a horrible feeling this would happen. Now I just want to sh and hide away. Does this happen to anyone else after a break? It doesn't happen to me every time but enough for me to realise there is a pattern. Unfortunately self awareness doesn't make it feel any easier