I can relate, I often times feel bad/evil, like some sort of freak of society. I took a criminology class which was AWFUL, like I felt like I could relate to a lot of the childhood experiences/mental problems that criminals have and was and still kind of am convinced I've got all the makings of a serial killer and feel like I should separate from myself from society and just go live alone in the woods. I also feel like I'm being fake a lot of the time... like a few days ago I went to a film exhibition and a girl I know had a table there and I was talking to her and trying to be friendly but it didn't feel right and I though of myself as looking very twisted and coming off as insincere... although I really didn't want to interact with her, like I went to watch the films and dreaded knowing that I'd have to go talk to her at some point. I feel like this in soooo many situations. I think a lot of it has to do with growing up in an emotionally abusive family, y'know so much resent and button pushing.. I think I just never learned/internalized how to be friendly and open.. so I try but it feels weird/foreign or I just withdraw and feel so mistrusting of everyone.