Hi Poptart. I'm sorry that you are not feeling well. I can relate to many of your sad feelings also. However we have many people here on PC who will be able to relate to us. When you feel the loneliness and anxiety come up, do exactly what you did and reach out to someone here. I definitely understand the feeling of loneliness and shyness. I get anxious in social situations as well but what I learned is that I am more confident in social situations where I feel there is a common interest. For example if you like cooking and you take a cooking class, it may be more comforting to talk to someone in that enviornment because you automatically know there's at least one thing in common-cooking.

You say that you're not interested in anything, but follow with saying that you want a job. Focus your energies on that. If you're not sure what that would be start with something part-time like a receptionist or library book sorter. If there's one area that you feel you might have a slight interest in go for it.

remember that death is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY problem. You are TOO SPECIAL to not be here. WE NEED YOU! Your stories can help so many others and once you find what you are passionate about, the depressed feeling will start to subside. I'm not sure if you are seeing a therapist but seeing one along with proper meds (if needed) will get you on the right path to a positive outlook too. Remember your PC friends in the times you think you are alone and it's "just not worth it". YOU ARE WORTH IT!!