This is the refrain that's been passing through my head these days, in reference to my T. I picture her, and then immediately think, "You're not there."

The thing is, I know she's there. She's been there for almost six years. But recently I find myself angry with her, for no good reason. I'm angry because she's sick and cancelled two weeks in a row on me (last week because of snow). But what kind of horrible person is angry at someone for being sick? I hate it when I can't reconcile rational me with pissy, emotional me.

I had a dream last night that T gave me a card and a Christmas ornament. Both had obviously been re-gifted. The ornament had originally been a gift for her brother. I think sometimes it feels like her caring is re-gifted. Or something like that.