I just edited as I was adding more to it for you. I was feeling a big sense of loss last night myself about therapy. I won't get to see my T again for 2 weeks. When I allowed myself to feel that sorrow, I realized I was grieving something I never had to begin with. T is not my dad and can never be him. I didn't get the right type of love from my father I should have had. But I wasn't able to grieve that loss as a child because I didn't know it even was a loss.

With my T, I feel the loss of contact deeply. But the T relationship is not the true dad relationship I lost. It is just an image of that. It lets me see what I never had. So now I can mourn the loss because I know what the loss actually is.