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Originally Posted by MyOnlyHope
my son would tell that I am always complaining because of something or arguing and nothing is good for me and they didn't come to argue with me. Maybe he is right?
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Have you tried turning negative / complaining thoughts into more positive thoughts? That way, you can still say what is on your mind, but it is not hurtful to your son.
For example, if you say: "You never call me and don't seem to care." , that is hurtful to your son, but if you say "I wish we could talk more on the phone, I miss you son and like to hear from you", then this is encouraging to your relationship.
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Originally Posted by MyOnlyHope
When I leave the living room and come to my office, then my son comes to me and asks, want I want to do.
What to answer if I feel that it is all not spontaneous but against your will?
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This kind of thinking is a problem. He is NOT visiting against his will. He came to see you because he wanted to. You did not force him to see you. You did not force him to visit. He WANTS to see you.
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Originally Posted by MyOnlyHope
We both realize and agree that something is wrong between us . He told me once, he is scared that our relationship will end as a relationship between me and my mom. We are, mom and me are not in contact more that 20 years. I hope we will not end that way because I am ready to say I AM SORRY, I DID MISTAKE, I AM WRONG and I am willing to work on our relationship while my mom was not ready for that.
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That's wonderful that you value the relationship. Have you considered going to see a therapist to get some help with this? A good therapist will be able to easily see problem areas and help with communication.
Best of luck!