Spot-on.

hezaa82, I can do one of two things here. I can agree with you that it's all terrible or awful, or I can suggest you maybe stop and re-read what you've written here.

You want people to treat you like their go-to person. But you don't treat anyone else like that, either, from what you've said here. You're convinced they don't want to spend time with you, so you stay quiet and wait for them to prove it.

This is uncomfortable and difficult to hear, but you need to become the friend you want to have. Ask people how they are. Invite them out. Stop giving other people the power to be more significant than you. It's a funny old fact of life that if you expect to be ignored or rejected, people will pick up on that, and act as you expect, which reinforces your expectations.

Stop thinking about what you don't have. Start thinking about what you want (same thing, different outlook) and how you could make it happen. It's okay to reach out to people, but it's not okay if you only reach out to them when you're depressed, or if you don't treat them like they're people, too. I'm sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but you do have to break the cycle of self-rejection for things to change.