I'm not sure where this belongs and I don't want to alarm anyone...

I've been struggling for a few weeks now, and especially over the recent 10 days or so have been suicidal, not in making any plans necessarily, but definitely wishing I was dead and not feeling any hope of getting better with recurrent and intrusive episodes of panic and desperation. Haven't been seeing my T regularly in individual for a since last fall, but semi-regularly in group.

I have been offered a crisis appt. for early next week but am not ready to bounce in and announce how I've been feeling...I'm ok with saying all the circumstances that have made my life a living hell of late but the elephant in the room I'm not ready to admit to T. Does anyone have personal experience in such a situation or have any advice for how I can approach it?