Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
Have you tried turning negative / complaining thoughts into more positive thoughts? That way, you can still say what is on your mind, but it is not hurtful to your son.
For example, if you say: "You never call me and don't seem to care." , that is hurtful to your son, but if you say "I wish we could talk more on the phone, I miss you son and like to hear from you", then this is encouraging to your relationship.
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Thank you so much LovelaceF for you answer. I am appreciate it even it is a "critic".
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
This kind of thinking is a problem. He is NOT visiting against his will. He came to see you because he wanted to. You did not force him to see you. You did not force him to visit. He WANTS to see you.
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For ex. this last visit he had a business in town to finish.
Why I have feeling that he is visiting me just because he has that feeling of obligation?
Why I have feeling that it is all forced?
What I am doing that he can establish normal conversation with me (with other people I don't have that problem)
Why his conversation is based on criticizing me how I looks,how I talk what I am doing, where I put what..etc
Why we cannot sit down, have a tea, coffee, juice and have a chat like I do that with my friends? (once he told me that his girlfriend and him don't have what about speak. ????) I understand young people are feeling that way in some period in their life, that way. Everybody has that period, but that long?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelaceF
That's wonderful that you value the relationship. Have you considered going to see a therapist to get some help with this? A good therapist will be able to easily see problem areas and help with communication.
Best of luck!
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I had therapies in past but never about way of communication. From my mom unfortunately I didn't inherited any good communication skills. And cannot afford to pay for therapies.