I have been chatting with my ex again and doing my best to reconcile the marriage and family that I destroyed. To be clear, my daughter still loves her daddy and for the time being, always will.
So the ex and I are that Eagles song "Best of my love"
"You see it your way
And I see it mine
But we both see it slipping away.
You know we always had each other, baby
I guess it wasn't enough
but
Here in my heart
I've given you the best of my love"

I kinda paraphrased that last line or two. So I don't know if we are talking now just to make peace with our past or what. Either way, I am still on the lookout for someone to love me for me...not what I have or what I can or cannot provide....just me.
How is it that homeless families can stay together thru that kind of hell and yet other families crumble? Why do women stay with men who have multiple affairs (physical ones) and get beat, abused, etc and yet THEY rise above and fix it or reconcile...and yet others dont? I guess it depends on the people in the ralationship.
I feel like no matter how much of our problems lay at MY feet, my ex will never be satisfied or feel vindicated enough.
My cross to bear.

Just more comments and thoughts. Sigh.