Hi everyone,

Lately my T has been asking me to journal my thoughts when I get to my "bad" place - for me, it's wanting to SI.

I've never been very good at the journaling beforehand, as it always seems like an impulsive decision. The other day I SI'd pretty bad (had to go to the hospital for stitches). In my journal entry that I gave my T explaining what had happened, I frequently switched from saying things like "and then I did ..." or "and then I felt" to talking in the 3rd person like "who will ever love her" or "[SI related] to her"

I didn't even pick up on it, T did. I'm scared at what that might be .... I've been under a lot more stress than normal lately (my 51-year old dad had a massive stroke a month ago), plus grad school applications, etc. etc. and so I'm hoping that this is just stress-related.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this? Am I just reading too much into things? I've only ever had one "dissociative" episode before... and it was during a bad SI. Re: what happened the other night... I'm not missing any parts in my memory... that I'm aware of!

Thanks so much all,
tc

Jacq