See T next Wednesday. I'm getting paranoid again. I hate seeing T on days Pdoc is in the building. She can send him a message while I'm there and then he'll see me and it be this big huge thing. I've seen it happened to my husband and he wasn't even having a mood swing it was a misunderstanding. I'd like to avoid all that. I so do not want to crash or new meds, or AP's or any of that. I'm okay like this. I can read (short things) again for the most part, typing not so much. They should leave me like this until things get worse. I'm not manic, maybe hypo-manic, so I'm currently not a threat to myself or others. I'd rather wait until it turns to mixed, dys-phoric, or depressed. Is that to much to ask? And I hate the feeling of bugs stupid bugs! I know I'd have to tirad up but I'm so against that right now.

I can't talk this is my only outlet because my son gets scared when I talk to fast.

I know it's "for the best" for my family and me but I so want to be selfish at least until it gets scary again to me. I don't want to crash. Crashing is worse on meds. than off because I'm still able to interact. Stupid meds. stupid bi-polar, okay now I'm just talking to myself back on track.....

Thank-you guys. I'm counting down the days until this is ripped from me either chemically or medically.