Harrietm I am so glad you changed Ts. The old one sounds like he wasn't attuned to you at all.

I think there's definitely a better or worse therapist for each of us rather than a right or wrong way to do it. For example, do you want your T to be a blank screen or more of a knowable person? Do you want to set goals or topics or just see how it goes? Do you need to work on coping and stabilising or go deep into past stuff? Do you want your T to react to what you say or just sit and listen?

I think the most important thing for me personally is that my T is a relational therapist, so it's about forming a relationship rather than him being a blank screen. He is sarcastic, argues with me and can be very challenging and annoying at times. He also patiently goes round and round my cycle of losing trust and needing to be reassured, over and over. Whereas I've heard some Ts get frustrated when complex PTSD sufferers repeatedly lose trust in them.

Sorry for all my epic posts, I like talking about therapy!