I really do believe that something isn't right. I don't think that he is cheating on me but I have always wondered why is it that he brings up marriage at such a bad time. He brought it to my attention last night over the phone and asked if he was putting too much stress on me. I told him the reason that I feel that I wasn't ready is because there are a lot of things that both me and him still have to go through. I think that I still need to find that certainty within him and me that neither of us will stray away from the relationship again.

He has changed a little but it does not mean that there is a guarantee that things will work. About five months ago he brought up marriage around my birthday. Come to find out that he only did it because one of our "couple" friends got engaged a couple of weeks before. I brought the issue to him and told him that I felt that it wasn't right and that I was hurt deeply.

At that time, I was so excited about it and we talked about rings and all. He told me to go and get my ring size checked. I even saw him come up to my job and look at the engagement rings while I was on my shift. I was really hurt because I began working 12 hour shifts so that we can move in together and start a new life. Eventually, I started to feel as though all of my hard work didn't mean anything. He started to get upset because I wanted to work and had finally found that ambition within me. So as of today, we are together but I think that he is beginning to use the word "marriage" as a defense mechanism so that I can stick around. I cannot tell if he is serious or not.